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Lesson 30: Needless Phrases

In the student essays that I grade, I find many "needless" phrases. Do me a favor and cut them out before you turn your paper in.

Here are some "needless phrases" that are especially common. In the left column are examples from actual student papers. In the right column is the revision that I suggested.

 
Too Wordy Better
In addition to the fact that the food in France is creamy and delicious, another good reason to go to France is that the people are friendly. Second, the people in France are friendly.
The second reason is that Jamaica is beautiful Second, Jamaica is beautiful.
This is why Jamaica is a fun island. Jamaica is a fun island.
Here are some reasons to go to Hawaii.  
This is the reason why you should go to Brazil. You should go to Brazil.
This quote shows that Brazil is dangerous. Clearly, Brazil is dangerous.
The first argument is that the food is delicious. First, the food is delicious.

This quote is an example of . . .

 
This quote clearly shows .  
This quote shows that . . .  
This quote is basically saying that . . .  
This means that  
This clearly shows . . .  
This clearly states . . .  
From this quote it is clear that .  
 

 

Lesson Steps

 
1.

Start cutting needless words from you paper. Especially look for phrases such as:

  • This quote shows . . .
  • The second reason is . . .
  • My first argument is . . .

These expressions can almost always be trimmed or cut out altogether.

2. Congratulations! You're done with this lesson.